

“I should not dare to leave my friend…”
Emily Dickinson ( 1830 – 1886 ) : : : : : : : : : : ::
I should not dare to leave my friend,
Because – because if he should die
While I was gone – and I – too late –
Should reach the Heart that wanted me –
If I should disappoint the eyes
That hunted – hunted so – to see –
And could not bear to shut until
They “noticed” me – they noticed me –
If I should stab the patient faith
So sure I’d come – so sure I’d come –
It listening – listening – went to sleep –
Telling my tardy name –
My Heart would wish it broke before –
Since breaking then – since breaking then –
Were useless as next morning’s sun –
Where midnight frosts – had lain!
“I Should Not Dare To Leave My Friend” is A ( 1861 Poem ) Emily Dickinson’s deathbed visitation of the dying friend from the perspective of her severely ill friend. The plain wordings in a song like Ballad in quatrain structure of the poem are about an ‘Importance of Being There As A Comforting Friend’ : : CLICK HERE In BELOW to enjoy the Official Music Video By Japanese Musicians : : Vocals & Guitar 🎸 : David Sylvian : : String Arranger : Jan Bang : : Guitar 🎸 and Computer music : Christian Fennesz : : Saxophone 🎷 : Evan Parker : : Composers : Sylvian , Bang and Fennesz : : Author : Emily Dickinson : : 🌹 https://youtu.be/kcN80B1BIkk
” I should not dare to leave my friend,
Because – because if he should die
While I was gone – and I – too late –
Should reach the Heart that wanted me – ” Stanza ( 1 ) : :
The emotions of the ‘Speaker’ bursts in the First Stanza. It is a “Heart” of her friend on the deathbed cited as a reason why she should not leave. She has in her mind : : “what if I go” : There has to be a ‘choice to stay or not to stay’ : Her grasp is that her friend has wanted her. : :
“If I should disappoint the eyes
That hunted – hunted so – to see –
And could not bear to shut until
They “noticed” me – they noticed me – ” Stanza ( 2 ) : :
The Second Stanza states her friend’s ” seeing”; eyes could not be “shutting”, until “noticing” her out of “hunting” or say from the mindset focused on searching in the sick- visitations. The Second Stanza starts with “If” in response of ‘choice to stay or not to stay’ that has arisen in the First Stanza. The first two lines of 2 nd Stanza : : ” If I should disappoint the eyes That hunted– hunted so– to see–” implies a desperation ( અવિચારીપણુ / ઘેરી નિરાશા ) : :
” If I should stab the patient faith
So sure I’d come – so sure I’d come –
It listening – listening – went to sleep –
Telling my tardy name – ” : Stanza ( 3 ) : :
The Third Stanza also starts with ” If” for the same response of ‘choice to stay or not to stay’ that has arisen in the First Stanza. An imagery of The Speaker’s ” moving ” to the deathbed of her friend “waiting” for her; and “wanting” and “searching” for her are meaningfully reinforced to “faith” : which is “patient faith So sure I’d come – so sure I’d come–” : : Her friend’s “Desire and Hope” and her ” Importance Of Being There As A Comforting Friend” are all ‘in parallel’ and ‘together’ “fulfilling” : After the expected or usual time taken. That is why the lines , ” It listening– listening– went to sleep– Telling my tardy name–“ : : Tardiness is a quality/ attribute/ habit of not adhering to a correct or usual expected time. The first line in 3rd Stanza : ” If I should stab the patient faith So sure I’d come– so sure I’d come–” implies as if she had held a knife 🔪 and murdered something precious.
It is her friend’s “Faith” and “Hope” on the deathbed that she will come before the moments of dying and so remains “patient” : : literally as a patient Pictured On a deathbed or a severely ill person nearing the final moments ; Suggestively , “A Longanimous” in the face of “Sufferings and Pain”; Or showing patient and unruffled ( ધીર ગંભીર ) self control and restraint ( સંયમ ) , Say “An Uncomplaining Person With Forbearance”( ધૈર્ય ) : Or is it a dying person’s pursuit of being slow to express resentment !? Afterall , her dying friend has not revealed the mindset in any way except some momentary Eyes Movement Of Search and whatever we learn as a listener or a reader to the poem is only from the wordings depicted by Speaker / Writer of the poem. : : : :
” My Heart would wish it broke before –
Since breaking then – since breaking then –
Were useless as next morning’s sun –
Where midnight frosts – had lain!”Stanza 4
The poet/ Speaker does not brook an event of an unbearable dying of her friend in her absence. ( મૃત્યુ થાય મિત્રનું અને ત્યાં પોતે હાજર રહી શકે નહીં તે ખ્યાલ સાંખી લેશે નહીં ) Were this to happen her heart would break but it would be a useless sorrow, just as the next morning ‘s warm sun cannot bring a flower back to life if it had laid/ lain there ! as frozen whole night / Or say it had been covered with frost all night. she says that better it had broken before the death as in the line : ” My Heart would wish it broke before–Sincebreaking then– since breaking then–” : : : :
Certainly the poem is an emotional and lyrical one. The gentle iambic tetrameter and repeated phrases (e.g. because–because ; hunted– hunted ; listening–listening ; since breaking then–since breaking then ) are lulling alongside the stuttering repeats imply the struggling lull ( વચગાળાની શાંતતા ) and pain and gathering courage from the quiet of despair ( નિરાશા ) and dismay ( હતાશા ). Emily Dickinson has not written any words of Comforting for the friend on a deathbed. Her poetic contributions provide no succour ( અણીને વખતે આપવાની રાહત ) for person undergoing sufferings and pain. She has to offer her presence only. She looks around the deathbed pictures with fearsome apprehension that her beloved friend might die in her absence and be disappointed. Dickinson wrote in a letter of 1852 , the same tender words of emotions which she expresses in the 1861 Poem : : : :
” I’m afraid I’m growing selfish in my dear home, but I do love it so, and when some pleasant friend invites me to pass a week with her, I look at my father and mother and Vinnie, and all my friends, and I say no – no, cant [sic] leave them, what if they die when I’m gone.”
Emily Dickinson’s ” I should Not Dare To Leave My Friend ” : : Information Appreciation and poem Analysis Presented by V Jayaraj Pune India August 8 , 2022 : : : :


























